After suffering ten years of domestic abuse at the hands of her husband, Jennifer finally filed for divorce and moved herself and her daughter in with her parents, Gerry and Donna Daly. Although the relocation was supposed to be temporary, Jennifer has exhausted her bank accounts, refuses to obtain employment, and has sunk into a deep depression. Gerry and Donna are proud, retired grandparents who want to ensure that their grandchild is raised with love, discipline, and opportunity. They have been expensing the household’s grocery bills and clothing for the child, as well as toting her from play-dates to extracurricular activities. The Dalys’ other children have begun to voice concern over their parents’ spending, noting that their income is supposed to sufficiently cover a two-person household and not be stretched to support a four person family. While Gerry and Donna understand their concern, they don’t believe in asking Jennifer and her daughter to leave and have the utmost confidence that Jennifer will get back on her feet. What are their legal and financial options?

Many times, the child-rearing duties that grandparents assume will cause a real strain on seniors’ budgets. Child care costs can grow exponentially dependent on the length of time a grandparent will be asked to assist in raising his or her grandchild. Given this responsibility, these seniors might consider obtaining legal authority to make decisions for that child – on important issues such as healthcare and schooling – and financial assistance from the State.

In Massachusetts alone, 67,781 children reside in grandparent-headed households. Although the Daly’s granddaughter is physically living in their home and they are raising her, Gerry and Donna do not have any legal rights or authority to make decisions on behalf of the children. Jennifer could sign a form giving her parents ‘caregiver authorization.’  This is a caretaking option provided by the Massachusetts Uniform Probate code and allows parents to authorize a designated caregiver to exercise “concurrent parental rights” on healthcare and schooling matters. Provided that the caregiver lives with the child, the authorization is valid for two years and does not require court approval. Caregiver authorization is an alternative to filing for Guardianship of a Minor, a court decree effectively suspending the rights of the parents and transferring them to a guardian entrusted with caretaking responsibility. Depending on Jennifer’s state, this may be necessary for the Dalys.

If you are on a fixed income and unable to get help from a child’s parents, the child may be eligible for payments from Massachusetts’ Transitional Aid to Families with Dependent Children and medical coverage through MassHealth. For further information on assistance through these and similar programs, consider reviewing the Massachusetts “Resource Guide for Grandparents Raising their Children.”

While it may be your desire to become legally and financially responsible for your grandchildren, you are not required to as a matter of law. It is ultimately up to the Commonwealth to assign custody to a suitable individual. However, if circumstances have placed your grandchildren in your home, it is helpful and oftentimes necessary to review your present legal options and to adapt an existing estate plan to ensure that the unique challenges of caring for grandchildren are addressed. Contact Vickstrom Law to your situation and get informed on your options.

On July 14, 2010, a Bellingham, Massachusetts couple and their dog were found dead in their home.  The ultimate factor in their deaths: hoarding.  Authorities deduced that 75-year-old Richard Lamphere tripped on a pile of trash, fell on top of his wife, 62-year-old Susan Abraham and one of their dogs.  Lamphere died instantly from head injuries; Abraham was severely injured in the fall and died later from her wounds.  Police confirmed that the couple were hoarders.  They had trash and belongings piled everywhere inside their home.  The conditions were uninhabitable and clearly unsafe. For the full story, see this article.

When assessing the severity of a loved one’s hoarding situation, several questions are important to remember:

• Can the occupant access doors in case of an emergency?
• Does he have access to the kitchen to prepare and store food?
• Can he access the bathroom facilities? Can the bathtub/shower be utilized?
• Can the resident safely reach their bed or have they made other sleeping arrangements?
• Are the home’s mechanical systems in working order (electrical, plumbing, heating)?
• Are pets being cared for?
• What health hazards are present (mold, decaying food, bodily waste, etc.)

If the basic needs of an occupant cannot be met, then it is time to consider intervention.

The difficulty with trying to help a hoarder is that most of them do not seek or want any “help”.  In fact, hoarders typically do not comprehend that they actually have a problem.  Thus, attempts to “clean out” or assist a loved one in “tidying up” his or her home should be done with care and patience.  And, although perhaps difficult, refrain from making judgments.

Tips to aiding someone who hoards include encouraging them and helping them establish new relationships.  Gently remind them that their grandchildren will be able to come and visit if they clean their house.  Perhaps it is time to participate in a local community activity for seniors.  If they are busy with other activities or plans, then getting rid of “stuff” may seem less consequential to them.  Many local companies specialize in professional, home organziation and cleanouts. Additionally, you may look into a hiring a certified home maker a few hours a week to keep up with housework and tackle clutter habits.

As a last resort, do not be afraid to contact the authorities or professional help.  Let someone else be the “bad guy”.  The story of a local hoarder who has made progress over the years can be found here.

Finally, a temporary or limited Guardianship may be necessary, at least until improvements can be made for the individual’s overall safety.   For more information and advice contact your local Elder Services or area Agency/Council on Aging.

The following is an exerpt from this week’s AZCentral.

Anyone who has signed a financial document has to be squirming a bit over Brooke Astor’s estate case.

Her son, Anthony Marshall, recently was convicted of stealing millions of dollars from Astor while she suffered from Alzheimer’s disease before her death. Although the case largely centered on a contested will purportedly signed by Astor, other estate-planning issues also came into play.

One was a financial power of attorney signed by Astor that gave Marshall authority to direct her affairs if she became incapacitated – and the means to steal from her.

The episode provides a wake-up call for people who use financial powers of attorney. These legal documents can be highly effective in ensuring that someone else will be around to handle financial matters for you if you’re alive but unable to do so – as in the case of mental incapacity.

A power of attorney can be as short as a page or much longer, depending on the detail desired. They’re often included with a trust, will, health power of attorney (addressing medical issues) and other estate-planning documents.

For all the benefits of using a power of attorney to avoid a potential court-supervised conservator situation, there are pitfalls, too.

In particular, you need to trust the person whom you designate to act on your behalf. And you should make sure he or she is responsible, diligent and reasonably astute.

“They really are documents that people should pay attention to,” said Denise McClain, a financial principal and attorney at wealth-management firm Lowry Hill in Scottsdale. “You’re potentially passing along a lot of power.”

But seriously, senior centers offer independence for aging adults. They play a very important role in the lives of elders today by encouraging them to become and remain social.

Socializing can help seniors with depression, dementia, or alzheimers. I know, you will say, Mom or Dad will not go to a senior center. Then make it easy for them. Go along with your parent for the day. Make it an outing and then take them to lunch. In most communities any aging adult who is 60 years old or older can join a senior center. You can also see the things that a senior center has to offer that Mom or Dad might be interested in or enjoy.   Knowing that your parent is at a center, or on an escorted day-trip can reduce the stress and anxiety you may have about your parents sitting home watching television all day or being alone. The main thing is to get them out and about.

Senior centers allow elders to develop a social network by making and meeting new friends. Senior centers offer programs and services like crafts, bingo, fitness, dances classes, travel to museums, computer classes, health screenings, informational speakers, daily meals, birthday luncheons to celebrate each member’s birthday and much more. Many senior centers also offer outings to do things such as live performances, fall foliage tours, and tours of Newport Mansions. Your loved one gets out of house, has an opportunity to socialize, while getting some light exercise and enjoying a good meal with great friends. Each senior center usually publishes a monthly calendar with a schedule of daily activities or programs.

To get your elder started, sign them up at your local center and tell them that they do not need to go everyday. They can start once a week, playing bingo, let’s say. This way they will not feel pressured. You will see that before you know it, Mom and/or Dad will be visiting the senior center on a daily basis. Suddenly catching up on their favorite television program may not be a priority anymore. (But hey, that’s what TiVo is for!)

So what if your parent/loved suffers from Alzheimers/Dementia and is too far gone to meaninfully participate at a Senior Center? Why not explore Adult Day options? These programs offer the socialization that some say is vital to keeping the disease at bay while also providing a safe, secure environment, specifically catered to your parent’s needs.

Check out this listing of Worcester area senior centers.

Thank you to Senior Living for contributing material for this blog.

Can’t we all just get along?  

I see it more and more and it really saddens me: families unable to “get along” when it comes to decision making for elder loved ones. It can be as simple as whether Mom and/or Dad need to meet with an Elder Law Attorney, to concerns over finances and inheritance issues, to whether siblings agree on who should serve as primary caregiver, and/or to whether assisted living/nursing home care is necessary.

Often as family members age, family dynamics can become more complicated. Conflicts that have simmered below the surface can boil up and make conversation impossible. Sometimes the elders are involved in the discussions, but unfortuntately sometime they are too far gone to meaninfully participate.

Either way, even the most harmonized family can sometimes hit a bad note or two and require some assistance.

(Dun, dun, dun, dun!) Enter the Elder Mediator. Mediation provides an opportunity for the Elder and all concerned members of the family to participate in creating a thoughtful plan for future. In most cases Elder Law Attorneys can act as Elder Mediators with certain issues. However the scope of the disagreements can often rest in other issues that are not related to the elder law topic. An Elder Mediator, working closely with your Elder Law Attorney, is trained to assist families in identifying the real issues, separating them from the crucial issues of planning for elder care, and developing the best plan of care.

National Public Radio has recognized the usefulness of elder mediation for families dealing with aging issues.

As baby boomers age and options for their care increase, we will all face many difficult choices concerning how we handle transitions during our elders’ declining years. Families will have to be able to evaluate resources, options and develop flexible strategies to support their elders. Even when not legally competent to make decisions, it is important to include an elder’s wishes and expressed preferences when putting a plan into place. Elder mediation is a rational first step for families to help them address their changing needs while enhancing problem solving/communications skills and avoiding messy litigation.

Another way to determine when you should schedule a review is when you or your family is/will be experiencing a major life event. Some examples of major life events include:

• Marriage (yourself or your child)
• Divorce (yourself or your child)
• Birth of a child or grandchild
• Death of a spouse or child
• Change jobs with significant increase or decrease in income
• Retirement
• Purchase new/additional real estate
• You move to another state or country
• Start, close, or sell a business
• Major Illness or disability of self, spouse, or child
• Life Insurance/annuities
• Wanting to make major gifts to friends, family, and/or charity
• Major change in tax law

So, how are you supposed to keep track of “major changes in tax law?” Don’t worry. That’s where I come in. Every time there is a major change in a tax or estate planning law thay may effect your estate plan, I’ll send a letter out to you informing you of the change and suggest an estate plan review. Additionally, you’ll receive a similar letter if I haven’t sat down with you in the last five years.

As more major life events, how can I keep track of when ALL my clients have a baby, get divorced, change jobs, retire, etc. I’d love to, however, simply put, I can’t. That’s where you come in. Always remember to keep your estate planning and elder law attorney informed when major life events occur. That way I can determine if a review is necessary for your particular situation.